What made you pick up this book? It is a question I myself have been pondering for quite a while. What is it that draws people in to read words, hundreds of pages worth? When said in such a way it makes reading sound quite boring, a waste of time. What do people gain? I asked my friend Margaret this as we sat drinking hot chocolates in Jupiter’s Casino on the Gold Coast. Hope, she told me. It brings out your emotions. Having never felt hope in my life, I questioned her on the ability on words to make you feel things. Think about it, she told me. Think about every time someone’s told you they love you, or they hate you, or that you make them laugh. It gives you hope, hope that they do, hope that someone else might too some day. I rolled my eyes and stirred my spoon in my drink, watching the ripples it made as it banged against the glass. That has nothing to do with the words on the page. I am not related to them, so them telling me these things would be irrelevant to my state of being.

‘Ok what about when you read about someone who is just like you,’ she said, standing in front of me and waving her arms around as we walked through the car park,’ Just a typical lost woman in their early twenties trying to find their way in life, and then they do, and the fall in love and then they become famous or some shit like that. It’s hope Gabby, its hope. You think, wow maybe I can do that too.

‘‘No, I think wow; this is the biggest amount of crap I’ve ever heard’‘

Gabby open your mind, you’re too up tight. If you keep on thinking like you do your going to be 98 and still be in the same place you are today except your only friend will be a coat rack. You have to believe in things.’ ’

I do believe in things’‘

Gabby, that’s bullshit. You stopped believing in Santa when you were seven. You refuse to even watch one Harry Potter movie and I bet you don’t even believe in true love’‘

I believe that if I can see it and touch it it’s real’‘

This is why you’ve never even been in a proper relationship, look at yourself’

Nice Mag, thanks for that boost in self confidence. I looked down at my denim jeans, black near high boots and blue long sleeve shirt. What’s wrong with me? I look good.

You look tired, you look uptight. You need to live Maggie, the way we used to. You need to start a new life, open a new book.’Oh god back to books again. This conversation is going around in circles.

 ’And what will I find in this book, oh Margaret the wise and all knowing?’

She grabbed my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. ‘It will give you hope.’

 Margaret takes me out to a bar on Friday night after university. This is part of the initiation into the world of hope. I look around at all the people, laughing and drinking and playing pool, some in their work gear, some dressed up, some casual, all from different parts of town, and wonder what they’ve got that I haven’t. I don’t feel different to them. But then, how can you ever be sure of how someone really is without being them? There I am, being dark and…what’s the word? Analytical. Mags always says I’m over analytical about everything. I can’t understand how she can take the world so lightly.  She seems like she just doesn’t care that a certain part of a movie doesn’t make sense or that the guy chatting her up was contradicting himself.

‘Margaret, what did you mean when you said id never been in a proper relationship the other day? What has that got to do with my belief in things?’‘

Belief in love,’ she said while scanning the room for perve worthy guys. ‘Maybe I believe in love so much that I don’t need to be with a hundred guys. I just need to be with the one. That when I see him, I’ll know.’‘Yes, but not all dating has to be serious. You can have fun Gab, you’re young. And anyway, what if you know and he doesn’t? Or he knows and you don’t? You’ll be questioning your love for the rest of your life. Belief Gab.’

I can tell there’s no pleasing her. I go off to the bathroom and come back to find Mag in a deep and meaningful conversation with some random guy. I edge of towards the other side of the bar and sit and watch. She’s so comfortable and natural. He could be a raper or something, she doesn’t know.The rest of the night is uneventful. My supposed initiation to hope ended with Margaret leaving in the arms of the random stranger, and me catching a cab home alone. Fun.

Hope: the finding of freedom in the completeness of the rightful purposefulness of human nature, used as an antidote for rage when right is unreachable. “In order that the scope of power and responsibility may grow, hope is necessary. Hope maintains the intent of the character when ability is not sufficient to obtain a complete relationship with reality. Hope bridges the gap when responsibility falls short. When ability has grown to the necessary point, hope disappears and mastery takes command. …